Who says girls and guys can’t be friends? That over used excuse, but what exactly is that an excuse for? Why do we need an excuse for something as innocent as friendship? I guess it really is that hard for some people. We just can’t accept a reality. I tell myself, and a lot of other people there is no better happiness than the happiness of friendship. You may argue with me (or maybe you won’t) that “Yes, I have friends that are guys.” or vice versa and that “they’re just my friends.” Okay, well you may think that but you don’t really know until they’ve spoken up about it that they could have feelings for you. This is where some people may get mad and argue.
Let me say that again. You don’t really know until they’ve spoken up about it. Some choose to not speak up about it because HELLO they don’t want to ruin the friendship. DUH. *rolls eyes* So until then, yeah you have “friends” of the opposite gender. Kudos to you. I hope you feel special. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with your guy friend finally telling you that he thinks your cute or tells you how he really feels about you. Embrace that shit, let it gas you up because let’s face it we all enjoy it when someone tells us they like us. Why? That’s the point. We want to hear about these things, but not necessarily from our friends that are guys and they’re suppose to be “just friends”. First off, here’s what not to do:
Freak out. Nothing is more humiliating than the after effect of already being rejected, not by just any girl but YOU their friend. Cut the dude some slack. After all he did have to work up the nerve to tell you and chanced your friendship possibly, so be nice. Let him down gently. Just like your peers in a group project that you let down gently. Do the man a favor and gift him with maybe a little giggle, or a bro punch to the arm. Then continue to say “I don’t feel that way towards you what so ever, sorry.” Take the soul lightly, because after all he is or now was your friend. For those of you that may not understand “take the soul” I don’t literally mean kill the dude and what not. It’s slang for rejecting someone. Then for the guys that have this happen to them, girls are sensitive creatures but some of us know how to take rejection. Guys, if you know your lady friend is sensitive about rejection don’t just get up and dip on the friendship. That will definitely make everything worse. Maybe give her a compliment, tell her things that you like about her and ease the rejection in that way. “You have such nice hair, but I like brunettes.” Ta-da! That was actually awful but you get the point. I don’t know, I’ve never had to tell a girl that I wasn’t into her. Also, I’ve never had to tell a girl that I was either.
Don’t worry, I’m just getting started. This is going to sound way too cliche, but it’s the truth. I personally prefer to have guy friends over girl friends. Guys are more laid back and don’t care about the drama, don’t want to be in the drama, shit, the only guys I know that love drama are in theater. Although, because of this I have encountered a few *cough* almost all *cough* my guy friends at one point ask me or say something along the lines about how they feel about me. But to me homies are homies and who I date is different. You have to be able to set them straight and with doing that you will have to come to realize that some friendships come to an end that way. You can’t be that lady friend that just jumps on the bandwagon every time a guy FRIEND tells you how they feel about you. That’s gross, and tacky. Although it is what it is.
If you’re the type of girl that has guy friends if they’re only gay. Girl, sorry but no offense to gay people, love you, but that’s not the specific “guy friends” I’m telling you about because, for obvious reasons, they’re not going to EVER tell you that they like you. Just not in the cards for them. So you won’t be able to relate to this article and you might as well stop reading this.
Once you get through the stages of rejection you might go through that awkward phase. Have you ever seen MTV’s “Friendzone”. I hope so, it’s absolutely hysterical. There’s a friend that wants to try and get out of the friend-zone, annoying, and most of the time it ends in disaster. Hysterical, sorry not sorry. Do not worry my friends! There is hope. You will find new friends. That you can confess your feelings to again, and viola the cycle renews! Okay, okay, okay… If you receive your rejection either via email, mail, text, messenger bird or however you people communicate these days. The awkward phase is just a phase. It’s definitely something that needs to happen though, you both are going to need space and what not so it’s cool. Be cool about it. What’s the bro code? Like 3 days? Wait three days and if you get no response maybe send over that messenger bird. You managed to get how you felt off your chest, now it’s time to talk about it.
Listen. Both parties have some thing that they want to talk about, you were rejected. Don’t take this chance to try again cause dude if you were rejected once you’re probably going to be rejected again. You don’t need to apologize. I don’t understand why people apologize for saying what they feel. To me, if you apologize for saying what you feel, was it really real in the first place? So don’t apologize for how you feel, ever. Try to act the same way you’ve always acted around the other person, nothing makes things more awkward than acting awkward about it. At the end of the day, you are going to have your opinion, and they will have theirs.
You goal should be about what to do next and how to move forward from this point. I hope that rejection doesn’t scare you off enough to dismiss what once was a good friendship and if it does was it that good of a friendship to begin with? Maybe you just saved yourself from something you didn’t even know about. Friends are people that are so suppose to be there for you through anything. True friends stay true through not just their words but with their actions too. It’s more than obvious that you guys click in some form, hence why you were friends in the first place. Remember that. Go back to that place, even if you have to become strangers again to enable a stronger friendship next time around, do so. Losing a friend is never easy. Your friends are there to not let you do stupid things, alone.